3 result(s) for Funny Grandma Poems.
These poems are completely original - not copied from anywhere. Feel free to use them however you want.
The Butter Secret
Grandma's recipe, she won't disclose,
Written in a faded, flour-dusted hand,
But one thing's clear to everyone who knows:
It's mostly butter, roughly planned.
The cake? Butter. The cookies? Butter too.
The soup, the bread, the pie-crust, too!
We've tasted it, we know it's true,
She'd butter up a shoe for you.
We asked, "Grandma, what's your trick?"
She winked and said, "Now, dear, that's quick:
A pinch of love, a dash of cheer,
And butter, lots and lots of butter here!"
Purse of Sweet Surprises
Grandma's purse is quite a sight,
A bottomless pit of left-behind delight.
Beneath her tissues, keys, and pen,
Lies a stash of candy, again and again.
She swears she never eats a single one,
Yet crinkly wrappers jingle when she's done.
"Oh, these? They're just for the children," she'll say,
As she pops a peppermint and hums away.
I once asked her, "Grandma, how long have they stayed?"
She winked and said, "Since the day I was made!"
Her purse has survived three moves and a flood,
And still, the lemon drops hold firm as mud.
So if you visit and your pockets feel light,
Just ask Grandma's purse; it's sure to be right.
Grandma Takes the Wheel
Grandma climbs in, grips the wheel tight,
Adjusts her mirror, then her seat just right.
She waves at the mailman, she honks at a cat,
And swears the stop sign was just a suggestion, that's that!
She drives to the store though it's just down the street,
Because "walking's for tortoises," she says with a bleat.
We beg her to let one of us take a turn,
But she only says, "Hush, I've forgotten what I'd learn!"
The groceries wobble, the bread's on the roof,
Yet she parks with a flourish, a proud little hoof.
We climb out with our knees all a-shake and a-quiver,
While Grandma just grins and says, "Who's ready for a liver?"
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